To some people a life disappointment may be losing their job and to others it might be that their latte wasn’t made correctly. These interpretations can vary vastly depending on someone’s life experience and exposure. It also has to do with what you value as important.
After working with the public in a government type setting, it became easy for me to “read” and “understand” what is important to people by their reactions and behaviors to certain events including disappointments.
Overall, people that have lived through loss, adversity and difficult times seemed to be more grounded in reality and have a deeper sense of appreciation and gratitude for health, relationships, family and love.
Others who have been “given” to and “receive” at will, seem to have little patience, empathy or understanding for a world outside of their own. They may have never been or ever will be affected by real life issues like poverty, unemployment, hunger, discrimination, trauma, loss and/or homelessness.
When you are in a relationship what you and your partner are grateful for usually align. This signifies that you have common values and core beliefs.
When you have a disappointment in or about your partner it stands as a test to determine if that disappointment was malicious or benign, and was it a one time event or a repeating pattern. Everyone makes mistakes and will disappoint you in some way every now and then. We are human and this is real life.
The key for me is to decide whether or not the disappointment is worth a conversation about. If it is worth a conversation, I place myself in the others persons shoes and try to see their side, before I ask questions or make assumptions. When I do ask questions, I try to remember not to accuse, but to find answers that will enlighten me to why the disappointment occurred.
As with most any disagreement, disappointment or misunderstanding, calm, rational, mature communication are paramount.
Leah Kay Rossi